From Email to Phone Call when Dating Online
Many of you guys have had the experience of having a woman answer your online dating profile, or reply to an email you sent her after she gave you her email address, only to be constantly frustrated by not being able to get her on the phone. I used to have this problem, but luckily I discovered a step by step approach that puts an end to all that nonsense for good. Today I'm going to reveal that to you.
Let's start with a woman who answers your online dating profile. If you don't get her on the phone soon, you'll become just another online fantasy guy she loves emailing but has no intention of ever meeting in person. So the first thing to do is realize that the purpose of your communication with her is to get her on the phone as quickly as possible.
The best way to do this is to actually set it up before she even responds to your online dating profile. Here's what to do: in your profile, you need to have language that makes it perfectly clear you are NOT interested in emailing back and forth, that you're on here to meet in person.
Here's what I say in mine: "One more thing: I'm interested in meeting in person, not wasting time with IM's and emails back and forth. If you're on here looking for online pen pals, I'm not the guy for you. If, however, you're adventurous enough to take a chance and meet a guy like me in the real world, then you and I just might get along just fine-I'd love to hear from you."
That's all it takes. When she emails me she instantly knows I'm different from all the other guys out there, and that I set the authority frame early on- she knows if she wants to have an interaction with me, not a typical, boring and "going-nowhere-fast" online dating experience, it will be in person. She wouldn't have answered the ad otherwise.
When she writes me, I always reply back, briefly commenting on what she wrote, asking her a question that requires an in depth answer (i.e. "What do you enjoy most about."), and then closing with this statement: "You strike me as a fun woman, someone I'd enjoy getting to know in person. You can reach me on my cell at XXX-XXXX, or if you prefer, I'd be happy to give you a call. Let me know what works best for you. Talk to you soon! -John"
This email is brief, letting her know that if she wants to know more about me, it has to happen on the phone, then in person. This email ALSO sets up the phone call to be about us meeting in person, not chit chatting. That's the ONLY purpose of the phone call, and I'll talk about how to set up an in person meeting with an online dating prospect over the phone in a future email.
Dang near 100% of the time we set up a phone call in the next email. Why? Because I let her know from the very beginning that this is about meeting in person, not dating online just to have "opportunities" floating out there. If she avoids a phone call, and wants to IM or email, I simply tell her I'm too busy for that, and that I'm a "talk on the phone and meet" type of guy. We either talk or we don't, but I don't email her any more after that if we don't talk on the phone. When dating online,
The same email structure applies if you met her in person, and got an email address, and now you want to talk to her on the phone to set up a meeting. Here's what I say: " Hey, you strike me as a fun woman so far, someone I'd enjoy getting to know better. You can reach me on my cell at XXX-XXXX, or if you prefer, I'd be happy to give you a call. Let me know what works best for you. Talk to you soon! -John"
This email works very well too. One thing I don't do is get involved with emails back and forth that have nothing to do with us talking. Once we're seeing each other that's different, but until that happens the entire purpose of my emails is to talk on the phone SO that we can meet in person.
So, for those of you guys dating online who can get women to email you, but can't get them on the phone, these approaches should solve that problem for you.
About the Author: John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to You", is author of the "Women Approach You" system at http://www.womenapproachyou.com. His blog is at http://www.johnalanis.com.
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